A Catholic Writer of Zombie Fiction

Why not?

I’m a Catholic writer, yet I (like Declan) write for Damnation. Damnation Books that is. It’s one of my favorite publishers: Kim always pays me on time, looks for ways to promote my books, and is producing my books in audio. (Which is why I’m writing today – read on!)

Best of all, I get to write funny stories about a kick-butt zombie killer, Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

The Zombie Apocalypse meets Radical Environmentalism.

The Zombie Apocalypse meets Radical Environmentalism.

Neeta is an exterminator in the 2040s. She traps raccoons and sprays for ants, but she also has a unique specialty. She takes out zombies. For reasons unknown, the dead have started reanimating, but in ones and twos rather than thousands. So if one finds its way onto your yard, intent on eating brains or selling you a magazine, Neeta will come over with her chainsaw and behead it before it eats your family. All part of the job.

In the first book, Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, Neeta trains up novices in a reality TV show that makes Survivor look like a cakewalk. In I Left My Brains in San Francisco, she and her business partner/boyfriend Ted are taking a break in San Francisco when an entire horde rises from a watery grave to attack the City by the Bay and neighboring Richmond. The zombies are silly – one is a mime, which didn’t turn out to be such a terrible thing to waste after all. The people are even sillier: radical environmentalists, survivalists, California lawmakers…. You don’t need Walking Dead to have a world gone insane. But my insane is more amusing.

It’s even funnier in audio. Damnation Books hired award-winning narrator Becky Parker to bring the Neeta Lyffe books alive with great voices and even funnier sound effects. She is the Tsar of Timing, as my character Roscoe would say. They’re PG-13 level comedy that will melt away the hours in a cross-country drive – or a California commute.

So, I confess: I’m a Catholic and I write for Damnation. But all things considered, if making people laugh is a sin, it’s one I can live with.

Find I Left My Brains in San Francisco at:

Damnation Books: http://www.damnationbooks.com/book.php?isbn=9781615727643

Amazon: http://amzn.to/Nzm01L (paper) http://amzn.to/OBBmkL (Kindle)

More about it at http://zombiedeathextreme.com

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Game So As to Win: the Virtues of Competitive Gaming

chessmonks

Remember back when I wrote a post about competitive gaming and then followed it up by talking about why I love competition? Well, it’s time to finish the job. I’m here to tell you how competitive gaming can…be virtuous? Well, yes. (It was inevitable that I’d turn it back to Catholicism eventually.) I’m going to take this post to discuss how competition relates to virtue, and how the two can actually work as allies and not enemies. It might sound strange, but I promise I’ll try to make it all make sense.

Some of you are probably still confused. Isn’t competition the province of the ruthless and unscrupulous, who stop at nothing to achieve their goals? Haven’t we all learned that winning and losing isn’t important, but that it’s how we play the game? That it’s shortsighted and narrowminded to seek victory so strongly? Continue reading

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Jessica Jones is Not a Morning Person

We take a break from Pope Francis coverage (because you can be certain that that topic isn’t over just yet, even if it feels like it’s been done to death) to cover the other half of our blog title.

Yes, Marvel fans, there’s now a teaser trailer for Jessica Jones. If you didn’t notice, it was released over the weekend and was probably buried under Facebook and Google Plus posts about how the true meaning of Catholicism is this, that, or the other. And that would be a shame, because it’s worth talking about. Continue reading

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#MakeAMovieCatholic on Twitter

Yes, the hashtag #MakeAMovieCatholic trended on twitter last night.

So, being the geeks that we are, I had to play along — and Matt had to join in. And once he started in, I tagged him in my tweets, and he did the same.

And I couldn’t be bothered looking up the hashtag, because it’s Social Media, where insanity goes to hang its hat — and I was informed by another acquaintance on Twitter that it had been turned into an excuse for another round of Catholic-bashing.

So, knowing that, I tweeted faster. Which seemed to make Matt tweet faster.

In short … “and then it spiraled.”

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Review: The Player

the-player-nbc-051115Wesley Snipes is allowed to be on television? I thought he was condemned to be doing direct to DVD films for the rest of his natural life.

Anyway, The Player opens with Snipes over a dead body.

Ex-FBI agent Alex  Kane is now a security consultant. He thinks on various levels, is observant, and is a little insane. We  have the standard James Bond-like opening to show off Kane’s skills — including jumping off a roof to swing in through a hotel room window in order to foil an assassination.

In short, the opening is very much like Human Target … another show I miss.

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Review: Scream Queens

screamqueensHoly Hell, that was the most bizarre show I think I’ve sat through (and tolerated) in years. Perhaps ever.

Imagine one of the vapid sorority girls from Buffy The Vampire Slayer … the movie … and imagine one of them narrating a serial killer movie. If you think it’s going to be bizarre, yeah, that’s about right.  Including one victim who sent out a tweet as she’s being murdered.

Statements I’ve made during this program: “Off the wall insane,” “deranged.”

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What the Pope Doesn’t Say

Pope - Christ is in chargeThere is a lot of people online complaining about “Why hasn’t the Pope condemned Obama? Planned Parenthood? Abortion? Communism? WHY HASN’T HE SAID EXACTLY WHAT I WANT SO I CAN BE REASSURED OF WHAT HE BELIEVES.”

Yes, really.  If they didn’t exist, we wouldn’t be so busy.

A few things.

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Pope In DC: Bitchsmacks Obama

Sinners and tax collectors

Doesn’t the Pope look just SO HAPPY? No.

While the media drools over everything that the Pope says, either with THE POPE’S A DIRTY COMMIE, or THE POPE IS A GREAT COMMIE!

Let’s look at some of what the Pope is actually doing, because I’m tired of this crap.

Pope: “I’m not a leftie. I’ll recite the creed if I have to.”

Media: Um…. next question!

Continue reading

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Pope in US

Everyone is an expertYou can’t visit social media without tripping over news or opinion about Pope Francis visiting the United States right now usually with the hashtag #PopeInUS. I’d say that it was finally drowning out political infighting, but that’s not actually true. After all, the majority of non-Catholic coverage of the Pope’s visit is first being filtered through the proverbial prism of politics.

Five years ago this week the previous Pope, Benedict XVI, was also going on a pastoral visit to an English-speaking country — the country that, in fact, invented the language. I came across some coverage of it I’d shared on Facebook at the time, and I was struck by the difference. The media coverage was going out of its way to bring up the protesters, the critics, the fierce calls that the Church should go away/change/repent.

I don’t have a problem with that, per se. Obviously, I have concerns with it as a Catholic — I’d like everyone to be a Catholic, in an ideal world — but as a media issue it’s to be expected. After all, controversy sells ads and subscriptions. We don’t have to look any further than our own site statistics here at The Catholic Geeks; Pope Francis articles get the most hits, and our most-read article is by the talented and opinionated Lori on what the Church teaches about guns, by over twice the hits on the second-place article.

But what struck me is that this so-common media focus, tried and true in every news category whether religious, political, or entertainment, was noticeably missing from Pope Francis’ visit to the US. Either all those protesters and critics have mysteriously dried up in a mere five years, or something was different in the media itself.  Continue reading

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Review: Blindspot

Blindspot-logoA bag is found in Times Square with a tag for the FBI.  In it is a woman who is wearing nothing but tattoos– which, for the record, cover her entire body.  She has no name or memory — possibly wiped by a drug designed to wipe traumatic memories of PTSD sufferers — but also has skill sets right out of Jason Bourne.

One of the tattoos is literally a label “to be delivered” to an FBI agent Kurt Weller — a badass with a penchant for creative thinking, which we see in his first scene. Someone is thinking here.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you pretty much have 75% of the pilot episode, but you don’t have half the story.

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Review: Limitless

150513-news-limitlessThis show is based off of the film of the same name.  While I have never seen it (nor had I heard of it at the time),  I have gathered that the film starred Bradley Cooper. In it, Cooper plays Edward Morra, a fellow who has gotten his hands on a drug called NZT.  NZT is supposed to enable a person to use 100% of their brain — because it’s working on the myth that humans use only 5% of our brains (we actually use all of it, it’s just used for various and sundry functions).

In the tv show, Bradley Cooper is back as Morra, and has chosen a random schlub, Brian Finch, a wannabe musician, to grace with doses of NZT. This of course brings him to the attention of the FBI, as represented by Debra Morgan from Dexter, and the first ME from NCIS: NY

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Posted in Commentary, Fiction, Reviews, Science Fiction | 1 Comment

Catholic Geeks on Facebook

We’ve had a Catholic Geeks Facebook page for a while now, but this post is to let you know that there’s now a Facebook discussion group as well: the Catholic Geek Reader Lounge.

If you’re on Facebook, please feel free to come by and request membership. We want it to be a place where you can hang out, share interesting and/or amusing links, discuss topics, and generally enjoy that geeky Catholic atmosphere. You don’t need to be a Catholic geek yourself to join, but if you don’t like that sort of thing then . . . well, then you’re probably not reading this, so it’s probably your crowd anyway.

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Dear Media: Stop Lying about the Pope

Strawpope full

There is a new article out about the six times that you’ve been flat out lied to about Pope Francis.  While long-time readers of The Catholic Geeks have noticed the running gag based around this problem — Strawpope Frank — it’s time to treat it with slightly less levity.

Because the sad part is that the article underestimates the amount of times the media has lied to you.

And I can’t really say “lie,” can I? Finn’s law: Never attribute to malice what can be equally attributed to stupidity.  But you know what? Continued, willful ignorance, and an unwillingness to correct the ignorance, is no different from malice.


Lie #1: THE POPE HATES GUNS! BLOOMBERG WINS!guns

No. Just no. And hell no. And screw you, because you’re a moron. The lovely Lori already covered this and noted that the Pope highlighted weapons of genocide, and concluded the Pope meant WMDs.

I look at the genocide comments and think that the Pope is condemning arms dealers who just keep feeding weapons to both sides of a war. And I’m not the only one. Continue reading

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Review: Minority Report

minority-report-tv-show-meagan-good-stark-sandsHaving disliked the original Minority Report film with Tom Cruise, I was nevertheless intrigued by the ads for the new TV show. It looked like an interesting science fiction police procedural. In fact, it looked so good, it reminded me of Almost Human.

You know, the wholly original premise that Fox also cancelled in the Spring of 2014?

If you don’t remember the film Minority Report, the premise was “pre-crime,” and people were arrested on the word of three precognitives.  The MacGuffin for the film was simple: one of the three telepaths disagreed with the predictions, and someone considered “Hey, maybe we should arrest people for things that the actually do.” The film ended with the universal agreement that the entire “pre-crime” program was a bad idea.

So, this show opens with cops complaining about the good old days when they stopped murders before they happened. Yup, that’s right. Completely and utterly forgetting the point.

All I can think at that point is, well, DIDN’T YOU PEOPLE SEE THE MOVIE?

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Judge Napolitano’s Odd View of Catholicism

Strawpope no lake of materialThe Catholic Geek network brought to my attention an interview with Andrew Napolitano, a former judge on the New York Superior Court and now a law professor and a commentator for various publications in both print and on television. The former judge’s interview centered on — as so many news stories are this month — Pope Francis.

Now, Napolitano isn’t the usual kind of fisking target we have here at The Catholic Geeks; he describes himself as a traditionalist Catholic, and it shows. However, as Lori described in a post last month on sacred music, it’s possible to go astray in the name of traditionalism; to be so focused on safeguarding the way we’ve always done things that you lose sight of why we’ve done them that way, and conclude that any change is bad. Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Fisks, History, News, Rants, Resources, The Church | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Quick Anime Review: Shirobako

Shirobako Aoi Frustrated Anime

So I’ve been meaning to put this review up, because (spoiler alert!) Shirobako is a personal favorite of mine. It’s a 24-episode drama that aired over the Fall 2014 and Spring 2015 cours, and it’s the only anime I know of which is about the anime industry. We get to see highs, lows, stress, more stress, and a lot of interesting details about the entire process of anime creation. More importantly, we get to know the people behind the fictional shows that are being created in Shirobako, and what drives them. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

The show follows the five former members of a high school anime club, young women who have grown older and started working in the real world. Miyamori Aoi, our main character, is working as a new production assistant at Musashino Animation, where her friend Yasuhara Ema works as an animator, while Toudou Ema, the third member, is a professional CGI artist at her own company. The last two members of the club (Sakaki Shizuka the voice actress and Imai Midori the college student and writer) are still trying to break into the industry…and that’s where things begin. Continue reading

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Obama to Francis: Screw You

Pope Francis - Commie Crucifix pray for youDear President Obama, can we talk? Because, I know that you’re a complete and total douchebag. But does that mean you have to be rude as well?

Look at this lineup for Obama to meet the Pope next week: a”pro-abortion religious sister, a transgender woman and the first openly gay Episcopal bishop, along with at least two Catholic gay activists,” all of whom openly flout Catholic teaching.

This is the start of a joke, where everyone “walks into the Oval Office.” Come now, Obama, try to be subtle.

I mean, hell, the White House was lit up like a Christmas tree in in gay pride colors, after SCOTUS’ same-sex marriage ruling, so you knew that this meeting was going to go over like a lead balloon already.  But this? This is just the cherry on top.

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Agents of SHIELD or Agents of “Meh”?

e1db8-abc-agents-of-shield-season-2I’ve had some issues with Marvel’s tv show Agents of SHIELD.  Between my own blog and other blogs, it pissed me off so badly, I’ve blown about eight blog posts, and God only knows how many words on it.

In the beginning, I really thought that there was room for improvement. Plenty of room, lots of improvement.

By mid-season, I was starting to wonder what the bloody blue Hell is going on on this frigging show!

Meanwhile, over at The American Journal, I had a conversation about the ten reasons why Arrow beat the ever-loving crap out of AoS.

When Forbes chimed on on the situation, they dismissed “those nitpicking nerds crying over wanting a tie-in show.” That’s when I took Forbes out to the woodshed and I beat them over the head with their idiocy.

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Quick Review: Plastic Memories

Plastic Memories Anime

So, one thing I’m going to start doing is reviews of shows that I’ve finished recently, which typically means recent shows (but sometimes older ones that I haven’t caught yet!). Plastic Memories aired during the Spring cour of 2015, and it’s a 13-episode science-fiction slice-of-life show that kinda takes cues from the sci-fi classic Blade Runner. Sorta. (Spoiler alert: it’s not nearly as cerebral, and doesn’t leave nearly as much of a metaphysical footprint.)

Background: If you’re unfamiliar with “slice-of-life” as a genre descriptor, it’s a type of show that’s become a lot more popular in anime recently. Rather than concentrate on big, sweeping stakes, the slice-of-life plot is very personal and intimate, and often focuses on small, ordinary parts of life, like going out shopping with people, preparing food, or going on a trip to the countryside. So, with that settled, let’s see how the show does! Continue reading

Posted in Fiction, Reviews, Romance, Science Fiction | Tagged | 2 Comments

Refuting More NY Times Idiocy on Catholicism

The New York Times, in its continuing quest to print all the news that fits the narrative, has published an opinion piece by one Jill Filipovic title “The Pope’s Unforgiving Message of Forgiveness on Abortion.” In it, Ms. Filipovic tries very hard to convince the NY Times‘ loyal audience that Pope Francis reaching out to those guilty of abortion (whether the women themselves, those who caused them, or those who facilitated them) and telling them that God forgives, is somehow a very bad thing.

In a stunningly blatant example of what I talked about in a recent Catholic Geeks essay I called “Fatherhood is a Sexist Concept,” Ms. Filipovic goes on to describe how, because the Pope isn’t gung-ho for abortion, he’s denying women their womanhood; that by appealing to their humanity, the Church reduces them to mere human beings.

But I’m not going to fisk this one. Instead, I’m going to link to Scott Eric Alt’s excellent analysis of the opinion piece, showing where Filipovic’s tirade goes off the deep end, as well as where it merely goes off the rails. Here are some excerpts: Continue reading

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