Review: Scream Queens

screamqueensHoly Hell, that was the most bizarre show I think I’ve sat through (and tolerated) in years. Perhaps ever.

Imagine one of the vapid sorority girls from Buffy The Vampire Slayer … the movie … and imagine one of them narrating a serial killer movie. If you think it’s going to be bizarre, yeah, that’s about right.  Including one victim who sent out a tweet as she’s being murdered.

Statements I’ve made during this program: “Off the wall insane,” “deranged.”

Let’s start with Jamie Leigh Curtis as Dean Munsch, Dean of a University who hates the local sorority, Kappa Kappa Tau. Munsch insists that Kappa let in everyone. The head of Kappa is named Chanel, and her minions are Chanel #2, #3, etc.  Chanel is the narrator.

Our heroine — I assume — is Grace, whose mother, a Kappa sister, died giving birth to her. Grace discovers this hate-filled mean girls reunion, and plots to take them down after an incident kills their maid / cook (nicknamed “White Mammy”).

Meanwhile, you have a man in a red devil costume murdering at least four people over the course of the first hour. And, yes, I stopped watching somewhere after an incident where a lawnmower decapitated “Deaf Taylor Swift” (yes, really). This doesn’t include the acid bath for the first corpse.  And … well, murder #2 had the killer (in full costume) having a text conversation with his victim — the last line being “I’m going to kill you now.”

Random line: “I Googled blood oath and this is what came up.”

Sigh. Just … part of the problem is that none of these people are really likable. Grace has some virtues, but not much of a personality.  She’s noble and virtuous and is going to make Kappa about sisterhood once again! (Even though it’s clear from the opening prologue in the 90s that it wasn’t).  The Kappa girls are strange varieties of conservative (backing Jeb Bush? Really?). Jamie Leigh Curtis’ Dean  is a former leftie who hates the Kappa girls and how “they bitch about being objectified while dressing like sluts!” … while at the same time, she’s sleeping with a male student.

Yeah, don’t worry, politics aren’t really a reason to stop watching. The (deliberately, and caricatured) vapid characters, an overdose of insanity, or gruesome  murders, might not be your cup of tea.

This might be someone of interest for people who have a high insanity threshold, or really enjoyed the satirical aspects of the Scream films.  As for me? I’m keeping a wide berth of this one. I’m actually glad to cross another show off my list. And this one? I’ll happily never watch again.

About Declan Finn

Declan Finn is the author of Honor at Stake, an urban fantasy novel, nominated for Best Horror in the first annual Dragon Awards. He has also written The Pius Trilogy, an attempt to take Dan Brown to the woodshed in his own medium -- soon to be republished by Silver Empire Press. Finn has also written "Codename: Winterborn," an SF espionage thriller, and it's follow-up, "Codename: Winterborn." And "It was Only on Stun!" and "Set To Kill" are murder mysteries at a science fiction convention.
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