Strawpope Frank

The media (particularly the leftist media, but also right-wing outlets as well) have long been confused about the Pope. It’s not just Francis. It’s just gotten really obvious with him.

Anyone remember the CNN coverage as the cameras hung around John Paul II’s deathbed during Easter Week, 2005, ready to descend like vultures? They kept asking questions about what the next pope would change about Church doctrine. Would he allow female priests? Would he approve gay marriage? Forget that John Paul II’s body wasn’t cold yet; he wasn’t even dead yet, and they were already trying to set a narrative for the next guy. Instead, they got Benedict XVI, who didn’t take guff.

Now we have Francis, whose preaching style is just loose enough that the media can run with stuff that sounds vaguely like what Francis says, if you’re half-deaf and not paying attention. Either that, or they just got tired of waiting and have decided to make stuff up, but considering journalistic standards these days, the former might still be accurate.

In the meantime, The Catholic Geeks will now start cataloging some of the differences between Pope Francis and Strawpope Frank.

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Pope Vs. Strawpope

Declan Finn goes over the details.

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Pope Francis on Guns (Lori Janeski)

• Pope Francis: “Those who profit by war should examine what they are doing.”
• Strawpope Frank: “Catholics can’t own guns!”

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Pope Francis and the Commie Cross (Matthew Bowman)

• Pope Francis: “Um, no.”
• Strawpope Frank: “Best thing ever! Yay! Communism and Catholicism are buddies!”

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Pope Francis on Greed (Matthew Bowman)

• Pope Francis: “The accumulation of wealth for no purpose is the sin of greed.”
• Strawpope Frank: “Free market capitalism is a mortal sin! Socialism is the true path!”

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Pope Francis on Stewardship of Nature (on The Catholic Geek Radio Show with Declan Finn)

• Pope Francis: “Protect the environment, and all the creatures in it, including human beings, of which there are only male and female.”
• Strawpope Frank: “Worship Gaia! Humans suck! Pay no attention to the stuff on abortion!”

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Pope Francis and the “Conservative Revolt”: Fisk #1 from Matthew Bowman, and Fisk #2 from Lori Janeski. (Yes, that’s the same article fisked twice. It needed it.)

• Pope Francis: “I reaffirm these teachings, the same ones we’ve taught for thousands of years.”
• Strawpope Frank: “We’ll usher in a new era of the Church! We shall update God for the current fashions!”

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Pope Francis and Obedience to Doctrine (Lori Janeski)

• Pope Francis: “We must listen closely to God to understand and follow Him.”
• Strawpope Frank: “Eh, do what you feel is good, God will understand. Condoms for everyone!”

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Pope Francis and Libertarian Catholicism (Matthew Bowman)

• Pope Francis: “We should all give of ourselves to help those who need help. Just maybe not through government carbon-credit programs and junk like that, okay?”
• Strawpope Frank: “I declare myself to be a Marxist! Government should control everything!”

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Pope Francis and the Media (Declan Finn)

• Pope Francis: “These are the teachings of the Catholic Church.”
• Strawpope Frank: “These are the NEW teachings of the Catholic Church! Awesome!”