There is a new article out about the six times that you’ve been flat out lied to about Pope Francis. While long-time readers of The Catholic Geeks have noticed the running gag based around this problem — Strawpope Frank — it’s time to treat it with slightly less levity.
Because the sad part is that the article underestimates the amount of times the media has lied to you.
And I can’t really say “lie,” can I? Finn’s law: Never attribute to malice what can be equally attributed to stupidity. But you know what? Continued, willful ignorance, and an unwillingness to correct the ignorance, is no different from malice.
Lie #1: THE POPE HATES GUNS! BLOOMBERG WINS!
No. Just no. And hell no. And screw you, because you’re a moron. The lovely Lori already covered this and noted that the Pope highlighted weapons of genocide, and concluded the Pope meant WMDs.
I look at the genocide comments and think that the Pope is condemning arms dealers who just keep feeding weapons to both sides of a war. And I’m not the only one.
But in either case, the pope said weapons, not guns, and cited three specific genocides. So saying that the Pope condemns guns is a lie because he never said the word “gun” — or the word “pistol,” or the word “rifle”. He didn’t say it even once. Seriously, media, shut the hell up, read what the Pope said, and stop vomiting up the same freaking crap over and over again, as though it’s fact, when it’s painfully obvious that you haven’t read a single word the Pope actually said. Stop lying about how much you’ve actually paid attention, do your damn job, and read the statements. Is that so hard?
Sad thing is, this is something that the “6 lies” article doesn’t even cover.
Lie #2: HOMOSEXUAL SEX IS FABULOUS!
No. No no no no and hell no.
First of all, first things first: The Catholic church does not condemn any individual homosexual for being a homosexual. Being a homosexual is not a sin. Homosexual acts are sins. One is a state of being. The other is an activity. A chaste gay person is doing nothing wrong. Frequenting a bath house for recreational activities? That’s a problem.
The Pope was quoted as saying “Who am I to judge?”
The Pope ACTUALLY SAID: “Who am I to judge them if they’re seeking the Lord in good faith?”
What’s the difference? One is “Hey, everyone can screw who ever they like.” The other is “if they come seeking God and asking forgiveness, who am I to deny them?” See how that works?
This is something the “6 lies” article covered.
Lie #3: THE POPE IS A DIRTY COMMIE BASTARD!!!! CAPITALISM IS EVIL!!! BERNIE SANDERS FOR SAINTHOOD! GO CHE!
Shut up. Just shut the hell up. Sit the hell down, and pay attention. The Pope is not a communist. Seriously. Matt’s discussed this already.
Hell, Matt discussed it twice — the Pope condemned Greed. Greed is a deadly sin for a reason. “Oh look, you’re a billionaire who would actually kill people for even more money? You’re a schmuck.”
The “6 Lies” article specifically addresses a statement that is cited when claiming the Pope condemned trickle-down economics.
First, it’s debatable that he meant trickle-down economics
Second, even then, the Pope said that trickle-down economics isn’t the end all and be all of economics. Because oh look, charity. Try it sometime. Is that really so hard to figure out? Is that really such a difficult concept to grasp? I’m a conservative who likes the free market, and even I give money to the poor, so if my fellow conservatives could pay attention, that would be great — and if the Bernie Sanders idiots could stop trying to cite the Pope, that will remove the temptation of my feeding them into a wood-chipper.
Lead me not into temptation.
Lie #4: MARRIED PRIESTS! YAY!
The celebration was attended by seven priests who celebrated their 50th anniversary of priesthood, but also five priests who had left the ministry because they married. Asked by one of the priests present, Don Giovanni Cereti, on the issue of married priests (in which he recalled the case of the Eastern Churches, where married men can be ordained priests and the thousands of married priests of the Latin rite who can not celebrate), Bergoglio responded in surprise: “the problem is in my agenda.”
This is an actual problem of schism. A schism that’s about half as old as the Church itself, by which I mean the issue with the Orthodox Church which allows married priests (but not married bishops). That’s an important issue that needs to be addressed as part of the obstacles surrounding a reunification of Rome with the East.
And the Pope will apparently address it. He didn’t promise to take any specific action one way or another. It’s on his checklist. Gee, we’ve got married priests from the Anglican Church and the Greek Orthodox Church coming to the Catholic Church. Seriously, how are we managing this? That’s the question. That’s what he’s got to do.
And it’s not like changing it would violate something fundamental. Priestly celibacy is a discipline, not a doctrine. It’s something Rome commands of her priests because of the idea that it focuses them on their flock, not on their family. Greek Orthodox tradition only demands this of bishops. That’s a difference of opinion and regulation, not theology.
So it’s on his agenda. Right next to his laundry list, I suspect.
Lie #5: ABORTIONS FOR EVERYBODY!
This one pissed me off.
You know what the Pope did? In his year of mercy, he made it easier for someone who is sorry for having an abortion and is repentant for having an abortion … to be FORGIVEN OF THEIR SIN. That’s right. It’s still a sin.
And it’s not even that it can now be forgiven, it’s that it’s now easier to be forgiven. In the year of mercy.
It’s been made easier for those who are sorry about it to get a pardon for it. That’s it. No fuss, muss or bother. That’s it. This is completely and totally AN ISSUE OF PAPERWORK.
Pope Francis lifted some red tape, and the media is reporting it as though abortion is no longer a sin at all — or that the Church had previously considered it an unforgivable sin.
Fun fact: The Catechism isn’t a secret. You can buy it anywhere books are sold, probably. Go to Amazon and get a copy. And then? YOU LEARN TO READ YOU STUPID F*&^ING MEDIA HACKS!
Lie #6: WHO NEEDS MARRIAGE?
Number six: I am not a number, I am a free man!
This came out after the Pope removed some stupid restrictions about annulments. For example, originally, you had to get three priests who are probably cannon lawyers; the couple had to have it annulled where they got married (You moved? Tough); appeals were automatic.
Now? Two of the judges can be laypeople. The appeal can be asked for, but not automatic. And the couple can go straight to the bishop and ask about it, tribunal process skipped.
Once more, this is cutting red tape. Less paperwork. Done. The end. Finished. What is so freaking HARD about that?
Once more, I suggest that the media look up the catechism. It’s not a state secret. This is not the Illuminati. You can probably find it on Wikipedia of all places!
Lie #7: CLIMATE CHANGE IS NOW CATHOLIC DOCTRINE!!!!!
One of these days, someone will do something bizarre and read his encyclical Laudato Si.
You want to know what’s in the encyclical? Here’s a nice little list.
- Humans are part of the ecosystem, protect them.
- This includes baby humans.
- Helping the poor ISN’T GIVING THEM HANDOUTS. They should be WORKING.
- Overpopulation of the planet is BS.
- The Church DOES NOT PRESUME TO SETTLE SCIENCE (“But, but, I thought the church was making it dogma!” Ha!)
- Social Media activism isn’t the same as doing something. (#BringBackOurGirls does jack)
- Nature is created by God. We should watch that.
- There is male. There is female. There is no option C. Bruce Jenner, stop it.
- Labor is sanctified by Jesus.
Is that so hard to read? The encyclical connects life, tech, nature, and industry into a human ecology. I think even Ayn Rand preached this.
In conclusion …
The media lies. And if they’re not lying, they’re not doing their research. Don’t trust them, don’t believe them, and you’re going to have to do something strange — do your own homework.