Twitter Twits Theater: Fundamentalist Conspiracy Edition

Last week, a Fundamentalist, God-doesn’t-like-organized-religion, conspiracy-shouting, and grammatically-incoherent (but no doubt pleasant) man found us on Twitter and decided to try saving our souls.

It was an interesting, if difficult to follow, narrative, wherein we learned that Catholicism was the first heresy, which then sub-contracted Satanism to more heresies like Islam, Mormanism, and Evangelical Christianity (no doubt as cover), and founded both the Illuminati and the Freemasons during World War II (no doubt with the aid of the Nazis). During the debate, if one might charitably call it that, this individual followed us, then told us to shut our mouths, then blocked us.

No, we didn’t.

Still, to immortalize his valiant attempt to convert us from Catholicislamicevangelicalmormansatanism, the Catholic Geeks would like to present you, our audience, with the following Twitter Twits Theater.

Yes, that picture is as big as it gets. But I’m sure that if you can’t see it properly, it just proves you’re infected with Catholicislamicevangelicalmormonsatanism. Because it’s PROOF! Not sure of what, but PROOF!

Sadly, the incoherent ordering of this gentleman’s rhetoric, bouncing as it did from tweet to tweet, combined with Twitter’s own messy nature to produce a complete mess.

Hot Mess Express

So, from here on out, I’ll present this one in text form in as close to proper order as I can make it. Some are shown out of strict chronological order to make best sense of all the reply chains. I warn you, though: this kind of goes on for a while.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks chrislam is Catholicism Islam charismatic protestant including all other false religions with Pope Frances as head

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Let us guess: controlled by Jews?

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks no by antichrist Rome is reborn Babylon ,research where statue of Mary is an came from and rest of your saints do research

Heresy Burke

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Oh, so there’s one definitive statue of Mary, and we somehow missed it all these centuries? #TheMoreYouKnow #AntiCatholic

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks this is a older pic after a meeting of many religions check it out online of great tribulation

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks research who Rome supported during WW2 the Illuminati freeMasons and other satanic groups began I did 45 years ago

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Hey, @APiusManNovel, who did the Vatican support during World War II? #ImNotSayingItWasNazisButItWasTotallyNazis

Nazi Vatican

Now, for those who don’t know, Pius XII was the Pope during World War II, and is sometimes referred to as Hitler’s Pope (mainly by people who wouldn’t bother researching history if their lives depended on it). As anyone who’s read A Pius Man knows, Pius XII is one of Declan’s pet topics. And, ah, I kind of suspected it would set him off.

I didn’t expect this stream of tweets, though! Yes, it really is that long.

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Except Pope Pius XII was praised by Albert Einstein for standing against Nazis. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Eulogized by Golda Meir…. For standing against Nazis.@CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Praised by Chief Rabbi of Rome, Israel Zolli…for saving Jews from Nazis @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Or do they not count because they’re just stupid Jooooss? #YouSchmuck @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Zolli later baptized “Eugenio” after war, after Pacelli. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Eugenio Pacelli = Pius XII #YouIgnorantFool @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Pius XII also praised by the NYTimes for standing against Nazis in 1939. Front page headline @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Encyclical condemning Nazis AGAIN 1 month after Poland invaded. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Same encylical dropped on German troops as propaganda by French. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Summi Pontificatus #LookItUp @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Nazis are old errors dressed in new tinsel,” Pacelli at Lourdes IN THE 20S. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Read Rabbi Jacob Dalin. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Read Ronald Rychlack. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Read A Pius Man @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Pull your head out of your ass. #Bigot @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Here, have a bibliography http://apiusman.blogspot.com/2013/03/pius-works-works-cited-page.html #IfYouCanRead @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
PS: Eichman bitched about Pius saving Jews in Rome. Hmmm…. But the Pope liked Nazi @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Gestapo Reveal Secret War on Pope,” The New York Times, September 26, 1945, Pg 10. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Gilbert, Martin. Auschwitz and the Allies. New York: Holt and Company, Inc. 1981 — Praised Pius XII @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Gilbert, Martin. The Righteous. Henry Holt and Company. New York. 2003. Praises Pius #GilbertWasJewish @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Hitler wanted to kidnap the pope and occupy Vatican: Former Nazi.” Agence France Presse. July 16, 1991. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Irish priest who became the ‘Pied Piper of Rome’ Mgr Patrick Carroll-Abbing.” — said the Pope ordered him @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Jews of Rome Thanks Pope For Aiding Them.” The New York Times, June 17, 1944. pg 5. #Oops @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Lapide, Pinchas. Three Popes and the Jews. Hawthorn Books, Inc. New York. 1967. Written by an Israeli @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Pope Condemns Dictators, Treaty Violators, Racism; Urges Restoring Of Poland.” NYTimes. October, 28, 1939, @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Nazi Press Blames Pope for Hostility of Priest.” The New York Times, October 2, 1943. Pg 3. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Sorry, it was the 30s. “Nazis Warned in Lourdes,” The New York Times, April 29, 1935 @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
O’Carroll, Michael. “Pius XII saved Jewish lives.” Sunday Times (London). January 27, 2002. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Pius XII Defended by Daughter of Roman Rabbi,” Catholic World News, March 31, 1998. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Pope is Said to Plead for Jews Listed for Removal from France.” The New York Times, August 6, 1942. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Pope Has Long Talk with Taylor; Move to Aid Jews in France Seen.” NYTimes. September 20, 1942, pg. 1. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Pope said to Help in Ransoming Jews.” The New York Times. October 17, 1943. Pg. 1. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“ReichSeenPressingDrive onCatholics:Vatican HearsPersecution Has Grown Sincethe Encyclical” NYTimes 11-4-9 Pg3 @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Rome Seminaries Raided.” The New York Times. January 1, 1944. Because the Nazis were SOOO friendly to the Pope @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Vatican Protests Ban on Encyclical.” The New York Times. November 5, 1939. Pg 39. Gee, Wonder why the ban… @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Heh “Vatican Post Goes to Jew As Italy’s Ban is Imposed.” The New York Times. March 2, 1940. Pg 1. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Vatican Denounces Atrocities in Poland.” The New York Times. January 26, 1940. @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“Vichy Act Scored by Vatican Radio.” The New York Times, February 21, 1943. Pg. 19. Not Positive @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
“WW II pope helped plot against Hitler.” United Press International, May 17, 1987. #Oops @CatholicGeeks @Islander1400

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
I’m going back to bed. I’m done with beating up punching bags on Twitter. Thanks @CatholicGeeks for the easy target

Declan tweets about Pius XII

Our visitor stopped trying to insinuate the whole Nazi angle after that. But otherwise, he was undeterred.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks Pope is bringing all religions together as CHRISLAM the one world false religion of the tribulation

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 I missed that in the daily Illuminati briefing. @APiusManNovel, did you take notes for me?

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks all of these are following him into chrislam Copeland is Preaching the doctrine of Mormonism

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Huh, I never know the Mormons were Catholics. Or are Catholics Mormons? Conspiracy!

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks Smith was a mason forgot what religion see “walter Martan .he had a ministry exposing cults and occult

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Well, contrary to your conspiracy theory, we’re not Mormons or Masons. Is that the best you’ve got?

Mother Angelica Shame

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks salvation in bible is Jesus Christ ALONE everything else is works & makes his death unneeded if works could save us

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Where in the Bible does Jesus say that you shouldn’t do things in remembrance of Him?

Jerry Wright‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks He didn’t he told the disciples Jews befor acts.28:28 at the change of dispensation see http://www.bibleunderstanding.com  will explain

Simon

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 You can’t even keep your own tweets straight, much less your theological arguments.

You know, I used to be a Protestant. As a Protestant kid, I was taught to do one good deed each day. Specifically, I was told to mark down that I’ve done my good deed for the day. I thought that was stupid . . . not because I thought good deeds were bad, but rather that I wondered why I should count a single deed for each day, as if the rest of them didn’t matter.

And that was before I read more than a children’s Bible, and saw all the things that Christ commanded us to do. To believe that we are not commanded to help the helpless, and yet to claim to be a Bible-following Christian, is to say that Christ was only speaking to the people physically in front of Him at that time.

And, of course, if you say that, then it must therefore apply to everything else in the Bible. Which in turn means it’s not a religious book. It’s just a memoir of stuff that happened way back before reality television.

Where's Your Hero Now

No. We do things for each other because Christ commanded it. Whatever we do for the least of His, we do for Him.

Trust me, there are many times I wish I could believe I can just sit around, ignoring other people who need help, and God would just look the other way. “Oh, you didn’t give shelter to the homeless and food to the hungry? That’s fine, My son. You prayed every so often, and that’s all I really want.”

It’s exactly like those who think that if you really love each other, marriage isn’t important, because God is love. Both mistakes come from the idea that God didn’t actually mean any of those pesky rules.

Guidelines

But dear, fervent Jerry, not satisfied with that, decided to really double down on the idea that anyone who disagrees with him must not read the Bible. No, not that Bible. The real one, the one he’s holding.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks all the churches do not rightly divide the bible they mix it together out of context to concoct different doctrines

The Catholic Geeks‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Except you, I assume? God personally gave you the right Bible, huh?

Jerry Wright‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks that is where all the weird heretical denominations begin this began in Rome with pagan Augustine and priests of Babylon

Fundamentalist Augustine

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Augustine was a pagan? I’m sure that billions of Christians are surprised. Oh, wait, you’re the only Christian left!

Jerry Wright‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks stop running your mouth unless you do the research you are like 995 of christians just parroting what you are told

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Only 995? I thought you said no Christian but those who agree with you are saved?

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 I’ve done research for years. Have you ever stopped to consider the source of Revelation? Or do you truly believe it’s you?

Self interpretation

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Stop running your mouth unless you do your own research. 10 page paper on the Early Fathers, on my desk by Friday.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks you must have heard of ” the two Babylons ” by Alexander Hislop he has documented many things

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Many people have documented many things. Doesn’t mean I’ve read them all. Besides, you’d never read my suggestions.

At that particular time, I was out running errands, and didn’t look it up. Boy, I wish I had, because the idea of him using a 19th-century prose version of a Chick Tract that played fast and loose with the facts (even considering the archaeological record of the day and the lack of scholarly sources available in the United States) regarding Babylonian culture and religion would have made for some hilarious tweets. Not that he hung around much longer anyway.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@APiusManNovel @CatholicGeeks I would like to send you some research I have done .I left churches 25 yrs ago

He actually included his email in the above tweet, which I didn’t include here. Though I suppose that if he decided to tweet it publicly, he actually wants people to contact him. Good thing for him that I have that pesky “good deeds” heresy where I actually believe Christ wants me to treat people well!

Evelyn Waugh

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 @APiusManNovel Who is your authority for defining correct theology? Because unless you’re the latest prophet, you’re one man.

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 @APiusManNovel Oh, wait. Being a prophet means having structure to religion, and structure is BAD. Even if it’s in the Bible.

And that’s another thing that I don’t get. From the time of Cain and Abel, if not Adam and Eve, there has been structure. By the time you get to the end of Genesis, you’ve got organized religion. That persists throughout the Bible, and whenever Israel moves away from the structure God instituted, things go badly. Then Christ comes, and He institutes more structure — and specifically tells His disciples that they are in charge of that structure. They are given more authority than was ever given to any priest before them. The following books of the Old Testament explain and define that structure (among many other things), and then Revelation shows that even Heaven has structure of worship.

But gosh, organized religion isn’t what God wants. And if you ever bring up the fact that the Bible was compiled by organized religion, then lalalalalala I’m not listening!

Right

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@APiusManNovel @CatholicGeeks satan has been destroying christianity and anything about God evangelical churches are not immuned

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 @APiusManNovel Keep trying to convince Catholics to not be Evangelicals. We’ll just be over here not being Evangelicals.

Jerry Wright‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks if you really read the bible you will find what leaders say they contradict himself

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 But I thought you said that the Bible has been twisted? How can I possibly trust it, if I believe you?

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 What is your source for the authentic Bible?

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks I said if you could understand english the leaders twisted the bible you are inslaved to the pope like all catholics

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Leaders like you?

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
That’s right, @Islander1400. You’ll surely convince us Catholicislamicevangelicalmormans with incoherent conspiracy theories & bad grammar!

Chesterton on fighting the Church

Jerry Wright‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks the church says it has replaced Israel but that is on where in the bible unless using false context you are born a catholic

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 Oh? Where does the Church teach that? Hint: your own brain isn’t a valid source.

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 I wasn’t born Catholic. Not sure what else you’re implying.

Jerry Wright ‏@Islander1400
@CatholicGeeks you are convinced I’m wrong and you will never admit you dont want to find the truth good by I’m blocking you

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
@Islander1400 You’re the one who contacted us, sweetheart.

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
We didn’t even have to work hard

The Catholic Geeks‏@CatholicGeeks
Alas, we hardly knew him, @APiusManNovel. Maybe he was afraid of the Catholicislamicevangelicalmormonsatanist cooties?

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
Quick, I need to play a copy of the Illuminati Polka. Everybody DANCE.

The Catholic Geeks‏@CatholicGeeks
@APiusManNovel When our bosses in the New World Order hear about this, they won’t like it. I bet Mr. Beast will go on about numbers again.

New World Order

DeclanFinn ‏@APiusManNovel
We will sic the Vatican Ninjas on them and end them once and for all!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
Next time I’m told Catholics don’t read the Bible, I’ll say “I’m listening to the audiobook. Don’t spoil the ending.” @APiusManNovel

The Catholic Geeks ‏@CatholicGeeks
Yes, that’s a Stargate: SG-1 joke. We ARE geeks, you know.

About Matthew Bowman

Matthew Bowman is a traditionally-minded Catholic convert and freelance science fiction and fantasy editor, which means that he's in high demand in a small population. Fortunately, he loves talking about stories. And Catholicism. And history. And philosophy. And lots of other stuff.
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2 Responses to Twitter Twits Theater: Fundamentalist Conspiracy Edition

  1. Declan Finn says:

    I should note, for the record, that I should have said Rabbi David Dalin. I don’t know who Jacob Dalin is, but I was very tired that night. I had just driven 12 hours from Toledo to New York, nonstop, so ….. Ooops.

    #GotHimAnyway.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Writing Catholic Novels | The Catholic Geeks

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