Avast! It Be Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Arr! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Avast, ye landlubbers, or ye be walkin’ the plank! keep-calm-and-say-arrr

It be possible that yer fine an’ brave captain o’ the fearsome ship Catholic Geek might have forgotten what today is . . . but I assure ye all, if that were the case — and I ain’t sayin’ it is — it would only have been because of celebratin’ in fine piratey fashion with a good mug o’ rum. Or mead. Or grog. Or . . . whatever was in me cup.

Actually, it be odd that it be today. Would Pirate Day — at least fer them buccaneers who dwell within and prey upon the United States — be not be more appropriate on April 15th, or ‘haps a Tuesday in November?

But enough o’ that! It be time to hoist th’ Jolly Roger and sail the seven seas in search of heretics to loot an’ pillage!

If’n ye be on th’ Piratebook and ye be wantin’ t’ REALLY get inter the spirit o’ the day, there be instructions for ye contained herein. This o’course be news only to ye landlubbers in the crew.

All ye have ter do ter join the crew is ter go ter yer account page. Clickin’ on th’ “Account” shortcut in yer upper starboard corner o’ yer screen will drop a menu, an’ ye better be clickin’ “Settings” right fast. From there, ye’ll see a page which be contain’ some words on the port side — that be the left for ye confused ones, don’t be thinkin’ I didn’t see that look — an’ the one ye be wantin’ here is Languages. Click that an’ then Edit yer use and News Feed languages to English (Pirate).

If’n ye be decidin’ that ye ain’t man enough for the sea, an’ want ter go cryin’ back to yer mommies, ye landlubbers might have problems navigatin’ yer Piratebook. It be right simple fer ye scurvy dogs ter get back ter just plain English, though ye’ll likely have ter walk me plank ter do it!

Oh, and if’n yer not knowin’ how ter talk Pirate already, all ye needs ter do is go to yer Google tavern and get yerself a Pirate translator. That is, if’n yer a total landlubber who gets lost at sea in sight o’ the shore! Ha!

But afore I leave ye to yer celebrations, I must give ye all a most sober warning. Aye, I said sober — ye c’n drink that grog in a moment, put it down! Now, as I were sayin’, there be a group out there most opposed to us pirates, and it would be best t’ stay clear o’ them. So stay safe! It be a terrible world when no honest pirate is left to enjoy his rightful gains.

What? Ninjas? Hardly. No, it’s that fearsome band of law-enforcers who be attemptin’ t’ ruin our fun since they first visited th’ Barbary Coast. Aye, I see ye know who I be talkin’ about.

us-navy-pirate-day

Or perhaps we’ll all just sit over here and drink our rum . . .

About Matthew Bowman

Matthew Bowman is a traditionally-minded Catholic convert and freelance science fiction and fantasy editor, which means that he's in high demand in a small population. Fortunately, he loves talking about stories. And Catholicism. And history. And philosophy. And lots of other stuff.
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