Square Enix Blows Up E3


Just Cause 3

…. Huh. Funny, I thought this was an Uncharted game.

And we’re apparently going to blow up a Bond villain, and half of the island he owns.

Hmm. This is starting to feel like one of the last two Far Cry Games, only with bigger stakes…and with Batman’s grapple gun.

Seriously, who directed this trailer? Michael Bay?

Rise of the Tomb Raider

Yes, this is a bit of a tech demo.  But her skin has texture. And pores. And … why do we need need actors anymore?

Kingdom Hearts Unchained..

Yay! Kingdom Hearts! About freaking time! KH2 was so sequel-baited, it wasn’t even funny. It’s been what, ten years since it came out?  What will we see?



No, seriously, really, truly, what? What is this? Vas is das? A smartphone game? No. Stop. Whatever it is you’re doing, just stop. Stop it now Square Enix. You are trolling us right now. Even the audience gave you a few polite claps – five people who probably work for you.

Kingdom Hearts III

You were trolling us. You bastards. We finally have KH3, so we’ll forgive you.

This time.

Also, Disney has little to no role in the trailer, which is a good thing. KH has a nice, solid universe already behind it, so there’s not really a need for any appearance by Disney in this game.

Unless of course, they want to bring in Disney’s two new properties, Star Wars and Marvel, in which case, I will pay money to watch Wolverine fight Darth Vader.


Yes. Yet again.

The entire series is like a murder puzzle — what is the best way in which to kill someone in X setting? I write thrillers, so these are fun for me.

Deux ex: Mankind Divided

Eh. I liked the first game. This may not suck.

About Declan Finn

Declan Finn is the author of Honor at Stake, an urban fantasy novel, nominated for Best Horror in the first annual Dragon Awards. He has also written The Pius Trilogy, an attempt to take Dan Brown to the woodshed in his own medium -- soon to be republished by Silver Empire Press. Finn has also written "Codename: Winterborn," an SF espionage thriller, and it's follow-up, "Codename: Winterborn." And "It was Only on Stun!" and "Set To Kill" are murder mysteries at a science fiction convention.
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